I count myself lucky as a parent that I have managed to go 17 months with Riley without having witnessed the mother of all tantrums. This all changed on Thursday, this is when our lives took a turn for the worse and would never be the same gain….bit dramatic I know…guess ya had to be there and unfortunately for the city of Bath, they were. Picture the scene, you decide to take a leisurely stroll around the picturesque city that is Bath. As you sit outside a coffee shop, sipping you pumpkin spiced latte with pure excitement that they are back in season, you hear what can only be described as someone being murdered. You try to decide should you flee and leave the first pumpkin spiced latte of the season while kicking yourself that you didn’t get it in a cup to go, or are you going to ride out this storm. As the noise gets closer, from around the corner you see the cutest little girl with pigtails, at that time her sweet cute innocent look does not match the awful shrill that flows so easily from her mouth. Now as a member of the public you have a decision to make, pity or disgust. As the poor mother walks through the town, she is very much aware of the looks of pity and disgust, I’ll take pity please.

So for those of you who don’t have children, but have a partner, who is a little bit grouchy in the morning, you’ll be able to relate. You know that morning where you brace yourself before waking your partner, well I have one of them also, forget about Riley, every morning I have to contend with Dev. So unfortunately for me, Riley is definitely her daddy’s daughter when it comes to her sleep.

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On the way in to town she has herself a little nap. The issue with the journey to Bath is it is only about 30 minutes away, so not long enough for her to sleep and therefore wakes up like a possessed demon, you know that moment where you wonder if your child is actually a real life Damien, you almost go looking for the three 6’s, but you refrain for the fear of what you might find.

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We arrive into town, put her into her pram and the crying starts instantly, there is no stopping her. I pick her up and give her a cuddle, still no use…at this stage I know she is not going to get better, I’m only in for more, but I persevere hoping for a miracle. We meet Riley’s aunt and my mum is also there, as we walk down the street she continues to wail, I pick her up and this seems to calm her, but being an old one of 43 my back is pinching, teach me to wait so late to have a child…my 20 year old is slapping me..then it hits me, the one thing that always tames her and makes me what to rip my ears out…the little bitch that is Peppa Pig…really she is such a bitch, but that is for another day. I feel letting her watch that show is bad parenting skills, but when she is wailing through Bath, I’d stick on The Exorcist if I thought it would give me two minutes peace…l load Peppa Pig on the old iphone and wait for it, I hear something, the sweet sounds of no screaming. In we go for food, now we’ve calmed her down, it’s time to eat, at this stage I am hangry. We sit down, it starts off well then enter Damien, cut to food being put into take away bags and then off to a park bench. No cutlery and we proceeds to eat food that isn’t designed for fingers, we become desperate and my mum starts scooping up her food with a lid of a sauce, I’m surprised that at some point we haven’t been given some spare change. This isn’t going well at all, let’s pack up and head to the car. Think it is time to accept that I will be avoiding certain locations for a while.