When becoming a parent I have my ways of doing things and my partner has his. There are certain things that the dad does that I feel could maybe be done differently. Now, before I go any further I would first like to stress that my partner is a wonderful dad, he adores our girl, he changes nappies, baths here, dresses her, feeds her and plays with her, you know all the things a mum does. Oh as the mum I also cook, clean, do laundry, deal with Riley during the night, start my day around 5 or 6 if I’m lucky and pretty much finish up most days before I go to bed. While the dad does all these things and I think it is amazing to have the help, you never hear anyone utter the words ‘ isn’t that mother great, she changes her babies nappy, or she baths her and feeds her’ ….why is this? Why are women just expected to do these things, like it is the norm and men get praised for doing the same thing.
Let us discuss an example of something we both do for our child, the nappy change. When I change her nappy, I take it off, clean her up, put on a new nappy, dirty nappy goes in bag and put in the bin, no evidence any nappy was even changed. When my partner changes a nappy, he takes off dirty nappy, cleans her up and puts on new nappy, bam!!!!! That’s where my partner’s nappy duties usually stop. Mum then goes up to the changing area, bags up dirty nappy, cleans up any wet wipes and put in bin. To be fair though, he does go that step further when changing a poopy nappy, a step that I didn’t even think of, the photo. Our poor child was constipated, I was at my brothers… Ping, I’ve got a message, aww it’s from Dev with probably a nice picture of Riley before she goes to bed….ummmm no!!! It was a picture of a brick sat in a nappy, poor Riley, but did I really need to see this before I was about to eat…he thought so.
I am also confused as to whether my partner has lived in the home for as long as I have. You see, certain things are in certain places and have been since we moved in, yet I still get asked where they are. Take yesterday for example, while putting a pot away he asked where it went….well Dev, it actually goes in the same place as its always been, but to fair it has only been 6 months. Then there is the term used for when a dad minds his child if the mum is not in the house….babysitting…no, babysitting is what you pay a 16 year girl to do, the dad is looking after his child. I’m just confused as to why when a dad minds his child, washes up or makes the bed I should be on my hands and knees showing my gratitude (and not the dirty kind for those who went there).
Having said all this I know there are some men out there who don’t lift a finger, the house and the child is the woman’s job. Like I said Dev is an amazing dad and partner…just think we need to level the playing field and recognise that mums do an amazing job too.