Most people love the idea of a spare room as a safe haven for when guests come to stay, a place of privacy. Not in this house, the spare room in this house is our therapist. You almost feel you need two spare rooms for when a guest actually does come to stay, so as we only have one, we reluctantly hand it over, wouldn’t look good if you offered them the couch. This in turn means that one of us will end up in Riley’s room, on the floor (floorbed), while she ends up in our bed. When moving down south we knew it was essential to have a spare room to keep us sane, to keep this relationship together. My partner and I have very different needs when it comes to sleep, he needs it a lot more than I do and if he doesn’t get it, he’s basically out of action. Me on the other hand can function on very little sleep and as long as I get one night a week, I’m pretty much OK. I’m the morning person and he picks up the slack in the evening. So how do the sleeping arrangements in this house go? Sunday night through to Friday morning my partner has the luxury of sleeping in the spare room, he works, so I suggested we do this as I know how he wouldn’t function if he didn’t get sleep, he’d be handed his P45 and asked to leave.
I know some people frown upon the idea that you sleep in a separate room from your partner, for us it work. Others may be happy to lay awake all night next to their spouse as they snore, or as their significant pregnant other flops around during the night, not for us, not in this house. We are very much, goodnight, now leave me alone. I was so pleased when I realised my partner wasn’t a cuddle sleeper, no thank you. At the end of the day I think you have to do what works for you to survive. I remember being heavily pregnant and not being able to sleep, I would just lay there and wait for the morning to arrive, so I kicked him out and told him I wanted to sleep on my own. I wanted to be able to turn on the light, watch a bit of TV or read when I couldn’t sleep, he didn’t seem to mind, mustn’t be very comfortable with a walrus flopping about next to you all night with enough body heat to warm up the entire home. He agreed rather quickly, he must have been thinking about it too but dare not say it. For some reason he must have thought I was quite hormonal and didn’t know how I would react. A sign of a good man, he had many sleepless nights as he must have dreamed about the lovely big comfy double bed in the other room, just calling his name to sweet sweet slumber. Well dreams do come true, he got his wish. This was around January 2016 and we haven’t looked back since. We have said one day we will become sleeping buddies again, but at the moment it is just not an option.
As parents will know, your child does not understand the concept of the night’s sleep. As I’ve said, Riley started off so well and when that changed the spare room became more important than ever. It’s our own fault, when she wakes up we just bring her in bed with us, you are so tired you’ll do anything to just get back to sleep and bringing her in to our bed, seems to work. The problem with this is the lack of room for all three of us, Riley likes her space for a small person and my partner and I would turn in to bookends with our bums hanging over the edge. I’ve spent so much time on the edge of my bed there is now a slope, plus my bum is never covered by the blanket so I freeze my ass off. It’s not the smallest of butts so maybe a bigger duvet is in order.
So on Friday night I got to have my one night of sleep in the spare room, it was a great sleep, I slept through without waking up until 5am, a proper lie in. I have noticed with Riley, when I am on duty she doesn’t really sleep through. As soon as my partner is in charge, most times, she sleeps through. She’s trying to kill me, wear me down, break my soul, I won’t be beaten. I know I will always have my weekly visit to the spare room, where I reboot and win the fight against my daughter for another week.