The joys of the never ending journey to lose weight, add the fact you had a baby and c-section to the works and it becomes an even more enjoyable ride. Since hitting puberty I had to watch everything I ate, every mouthful, up until then I was a tiny thing. Since then I have always been a bit of a fat lass. I’ve been on every diet there is. When I got pregnant I dreaded how much weight I would put on. I’m one of those unlucky characters who put on weight while someone else is eating a cake in front of you. I suck so much when it comes to weight loss that after weighing myself before I had Riley I was excited to weigh myself after, at least 7lbs would go over night right, did it hell. I weighed myself two days later, still the same. I mean really, I just gave birth and I am not ever down the size of her. I was not impressed. Unfortunately I live with someone who never puts on weight, he eats what he likes, his only form of exercise is clicking a mouse on his pc, yet he never puts on a pound. I on the other had am constantly being careful, exercising and generally torturing myself just to stay a little bit fat. I tend to dislike people a bit who stuff their face and never put on a pound. This fat lass can put on 6 pounds over a weekend and has done it, while others have ate and drank the same and don’t, fair, I bloody think not!
So when I did become pregnant I was very careful for the first 6 months, didn’t want to put on loads and never really had any real cravings, just little things every now and again. As time progressed I couldn’t believe my luck, this fat lass was only putting it on in the front…hand me that bloody chocolate. That’s right 6 months hit and I wanted chocolate, I wanted all the chocolate and god forbid my partner ate any of my stash. I spent years avoiding the chocolate but this was my time, this was my time to shine. I was eating 3 bars a day, I couldn’t get enough of it and I still wasn’t gaining, only in the front, life was good, I was finally one of these aliens that ate what they wanted when they wanted. I must say it was an amazing 3 months, not thinking about what I ate, it’s exhausting thinking about every mouthful, how many calories, how much sugar, how much fat aaaaaaagggggghhhhhhh!!!! F*&k off!! Alas, this in my life. As I got closer to my due date I knew this was going to end, my Willy Wonka life was about to end as we knew it. So I had her and of course you get a couple of months grace right, I mean I had just had a baby. The love of chocolate continued. It is kind of annoying as pre pregnancy I liked chocolate but had taught myself to say no with ease. To this day it is now another thing I have to resist, without ease.
After having a baby you realise that it gets to the stage where you can no longer blame the baby, so enter the tiredness. Yes I had a new reason not to get off my fat ass, I was tired. Now my baby slept through the night but that is beside the point, I had a real legitimate reason, no one would dare say a word. So my endless love for chocolate and everything else basically continued. Then it hit, that day you catch that glimpse of yourself, you know the one, the wtf do I look like. Once I finished all the crap in the house, I mean you can’t waste it, I started the boring journey, exercise, watching what I ate, blah blah blah. The fridge and cupboard again became the enemy, I had to fill it with colourful foods, the beige look was out, it’s all about colours when you want to shed a couple of ton. So my ‘journey’, god I hate that phrase, I’m on a journey. Glad to say I have lost all the baby weight and about a stone, need to keep going as it seems to go everywhere but the place you want, yes the tummy. That lovely flap over your c-section scar is a bitch, I’ll get there. When you fit in to clothes that didn’t fit you pre-pregnancy it is worth it, but I do miss it, the chocolate. I sometimes go to the fridge, to look at my partners chocolate, the chocolate looks back, sad, eat me, eat me. Sorry chocolate, not today, triumph, I closed the door and walked away, my pal slimming world would be proud. This gal will always be a bit of a fat lass even when she loses the weight, forever a fat lass inside fighting the never ending battle.