Parent Life · Uncategorized

The Second Baby, or Not.


As a mother of one I felt once I had my one child the never-ending baby questions would end. I’ve had a child, I’m now one of the ‘normal’ ones right. That’s how it works yeah, you have a kid and you are now an acceptable female, I even have a partner I’m practically perfect. A woman of my age should have all that shouldn’t she, I mean if she doesn’t then what is the point. This is what we are led to believe right! I think people fail to realise that some females don’t actually want kids, they really don’t.  As someone who had a child very late in life, 42, I was constantly asked when I was going to have a child. It was never by anyone that really knew me, most of them never saw me as someone who wanted a child as I never and I mean never expressed an interest. If anything I never understood why you’d have a child, just wasn’t me, not a maternal bone in my body. When I did get pregnant there was quite a few shocked people, but alas I had my little girl and very happy I did.


So now I am one of these acceptable ‘normal’ women with a child the questions about having a child stop now, don’t they? Ya that is a big fat no! I’m now on to the ‘when are you having your next one’. Seriously what is the obsession with making sure people have kids and lots of them?  As I had a child I presumed it would end all lines of communication as to when I was going to have a child, now the second. It would also end the sympathetic head tilt as the look of pity is plastered all over people’s faces as I explained my reasons for not wanting another. This look I got for years when I never had one, it’s like people think you are lying about not wanting one or another.  Now it is the endless question of when will you be having a second child? I mean seriously, for fuck sake I had one can’t you just leave me be. I do not what a second child and nor does my partner so why the constant need to talk about it. Why is there a constant need to make people feel like there is something wrong because you don’t have a child or have not thought about a second? I’d like to point out, I don’t mind if people ask, this is more for the people who don’t accept my answer. After having a child it is perfectly normal to ask if you are considering another, this is just about when you say no and you get a certain response. This tends to be from people who don’t know me that well.

I could list a number of reasons as to why I don’t have a second child, but I’ll just list one. It really is quite simple. I simply do not want one. Am I selfish for not having a second child, or am I smart not having a child I do not want. Am I selfish for not giving my child siblings to play with, do all siblings get along. Am I selfish for not having a second child as apparently according to some, children without siblings have trouble socializing with other children. Let’s just put all these generalisations to bed. Children with siblings can be socially awkward as can children without.  Children with siblings can be extremely selfish and not able to share, children without siblings can be extremely selfish and not able to share. So you get the point. We are not having a second child, we do not want a second child. If you have more than one child or want a second child, that is perfectly fine, just not for me.  I know this post feels like a bit of a rant and I guess it is I’m just a bit tired of explaining myself. Anyway let’s be perfectly honest, can you imagine two of Riley. I’ll just stick with the one.








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